5:36 p.m.


My world is pretty small, so this list will be pretty short. I call different folks by different names sometimes depending on how I feel about them at the moment, which is usually based on how they're treating me at the moment. Their AKAs appear in parentheses.

AL: My ex-boss who's still there and works my nerves.

BL: see Tanner.

CB: A feller from work. My department head actually. Younger than me and I helped hire him. (The promotion was handed to me but I passed it to him. He's far better for the job than I.) He wants to be best buds with me, but for some reason I don't entirely trust him. He's straight, I have no doubts there, but he does kiss me on the lips (peck) and has made innuendos suggesting he'd like me to give him head. He's good looking enough. Nice basket too. But... not a good idea.

CO: The only friend from high school that I'm still in regular contact with. I love him dearly. I wish we weren't 800 miles apart.

DM: My first great love. Another confused closet case. I can pick'em, eh?

Gail (GJ): Woman who owns the land where my vineyard is. She loves me lots and is probably my best friend, except maybe for her husband Hugh.

GJ: see Gail.

HJ: see Hugh.

Hugh (HJ): Gail's husband. The man is incredible. He's nearly my father's age. We're really great buds. When we work together (outside in the vineyard or building stuff), we don't have to talk about what we're doing. We anticipate each other and seamlessly get the job done.

JWB: see Ryan. He got this name (Jesus Wejus Boy(-friend)) because his 'salvation' from his sexuality issues was to plunge headlong into the pool of pre-destination Calvinism. Very scary. Ryan I loved. This one scares the shit out of me.

the LO: The Loved One. A feller I met 18 years ago and we've been together ever since. We didn't fall in love so much as fall in together. It's a relationship... of sorts. He's the kind of person you want to grow old with but not be young with. I love him and pretty much can't imagine life without him. He and I have some work to do.

MG: I was engaged to her in college. She dumped me. (Wise girl!) Before the engagement I almost became a father (early miscarriage). She's good people, though of the mini-van variety. I hope she found what she wanted, wherever she wound up.

R: see Ryan.

RS: see Ryan. Or the tattoo on my wrist.

Ryan (JWB, R, RS): A young man I met a few years ago at work. He fell in love with me and courted me for a couple years before I caved. We had a very intense relationship, but he was conflicted over his sexuality. When I turned him lose he attempted suicide... then blamed me to others who then made threats on my life, &cet. I didn't handle any of this well. Not well at all. It's why I started this diary. As a vent.

SA: A young woman at work whom I liked, supported, and even defended. Then she turned on me (because of Ryan). I hope never to see her skanky self again. Bitch. (She does have a nice ass though. I gotta give her that.)

Tanner (BL): The latest young guy from work who's crushing on me. He's a good guy. I like him a lot. He's pretty cute too as twinks go. This summer I kind of broke down and made out with him a few times. Felt him up once too. Bad idea, however nice the package. He's really paranoid about having sex. He's retreated since then. Probably for the best. (The pet name came from his eyes being the same color as tan M&Ms. Remember them?)

If I've made or make a ref to someone not on this list, please let me know. It's an oversight, that's all!


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encroaching increase of darkness - 2008-11-02

Bones - 2008-09-20

random bitchings and musings - 2008-07-09

Man with Huge Cock - 2008-07-04

Eric and other crazy shit - 2008-06-29


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