11:16 a.m.

random bitchings and musings

This was actually written last Friday (7/4) but I forgot to post it. I'll write catch up stuff after I post this and post another post again today (I hope!)

I still haven't heard from Eric. He actually hurt my feelings by standing me up last Saturday. So he still hasn't called and I still don't know why. He owes my $700 at this point. Maybe it's that. It's been a Wimpy schtick of I'll gladly pay you on Tuesday for the price of a hamburger today. But he's so hot and such a good kisser/groper and smart and talented ... have I painted myself a sucker again? The chunk of money I've lent him was about 1/3 of all I have left. I've already lent Sam $12k (the tab has grown that much over the last 3 years), but I know she'll pay me back, or I should say Fred, who is in Iraq, will. That's all another story. But Eric? My best guess is that he's embarrassed, both at what he owes me and cold feet over the horizontal refreshment we were -- at his prompting -- to share last weekend. I honestly don't think his silence has been as calculated leech plan. I believe he's, well, fucked up and has backed himself in to corner. There he is at 32 with no trajectory. Maybe that's just shit I want to believe. Enough about him at the moment. He's a concern, then again all my dogs are either side of the road foundlings or pound pups. Have I found another one?

I'm trying a planter garden this year. Two tomatoes in pots, which have produced nothing yet -- a few flowers a couple weeks ago, then zilch. I also have a couple cucumbers. I do love me some cukes! Draw and quarter them, salt and pepper, and I'm in heaven! Skins on of course. The skin adds the zing, a bit of bitterness. Yum. It also adds the nutrients. I had a couple tiny ones starting, but I failed to water one day and they shriveled. We're having a wicked drought here in SC. I'm so glad I took the time, expense, and bother to install a drip irrigation system in my property. By "I" in mean "I". Lots of trenches to dig I assure you, the T and elbow joins to assemble in situ , not to mention installing all the drippy doo-hickies to the tubing as it went along, not to mention which plants need what amount of watering. I have about 55 plants to consider -- some are greedy, some can easily 'drown'. I enjoyed the calculations, but not the digging bit so much. Temps being in the high 90s and my need to avoid bright light didn't help. Eric helped me with the digging, and was happy to do so. He enjoys my company as I do his. It's all a strange thing. I mean the Eric part. Sam says I ought to watch out lest he fall in love with me, or confuse any casual sex we might have with love, as opposed to friends with benefits.

That freakin' memorial/celebration for/of Mary, the LO's recently deceased mother, is tomorrow evening. I don't want to go. I don't want to leave the house. I don't feel sociable. It's another sign of my depression trough. The martini I'm sipping right now doesn't help. He has in toto now his brother (whom I like enough to tolerate), and his wife, who is a vagina dentata, and 2 daughters, one of which I mostly like and one of which makes me want to look for the nearest plastic bag, preferable a dry cleaner bag -- it's easier to watch that way. The LO also has ONE cousin and she is cool. Her husband used to be a total asshole, but he's mellowed hugely. (A hunk too. Unavailable, but still....) They have 2 kids, both all grown and married and shit. I like them. At least one, the son, will be at the party. The LO just picked him up at the airport and taken him to lunch somewhere. Just as he was going out the door he mentioned where he was going and why and invited me to go, but because of flight schedules, yadayada and he had to leave pronto. I was told I could come along to meet him at the airport and go to lunch with them too. I happened to be standing at the sink in boxers, still unshowered. Ummmm...... So he took off.

Eric borrowed my clippers 2 wks ago. When last I saw him a week ago he had the 'sorry, forgot to bring them' shit. Well, I need them now! My hair is all Andy Warhol!!! I'm not obsessed about my appearance, but at the moment I look like Baby Hughy!

Tana, the new dog to the pack, is doing well. She does all she can to fit into pack dynamics, but Sherman is still being an asshole -- pack alpha bullshit. She tries to make nice, but he still does the growly thing, which she reads and backs off. She's very smart in many ways and only needs a lesson taught once (for the most part.)

So we have to go to this party tonight at Jay and Carol's. We love them. They're theater people (as in actors and such), but the LO's brother and wife and their chur'n are also coming. Like I said, brother and eldest daughter I like, but sister-in-law and youngest I dislike enough to want to decline. That's sad. A smile and nod affair I suppose it will be. I won't be able to be me. Or maybe I shouldn't fret and be me regardless. As I tell my students, "It's easier to get forgiveness than permission." I'd still have to deal with the LO afterwards. Well, let the dice fly high!

What crawls up my ass more than anything about my nieces is that they are 'fussy eaters.' And you can't imagine how 'fussy' they are. They'll only eat bread and cheese. And the bread has to be white bread (cut the crust off!) and cheese (American cheese food product!) WTF!!! I'm serious. And the oldest is 17 fuckin' yo! The younger, whom I can't bear, is at least 14 at this point and still plays with Hello Kitty shit. I'm agog, and I certainly can't put up with her whining as is she were a 7 yo. I remember when I was little how when food was placed before me -- meat maybe 2, tops 3x a week if that tells you anything about my background -- when I got fussy Ma would say, Fussy = hungry". Just yesterday heard a George Carlin quote: "'Fussy eater' is a euphemism for 'pain in the ass'."

I'm old enough to be cranky enough not to kowtow to other people's dietary affectations. If vegetarians come to my house to eat, I make a side dish that doesn't include meat as a courtesy. When I goes to their house, do they include a tasty meat thing? NO! So I'm sick of that shit. As for vegans... ugh. I don't bother. I've tried to tolerate them, but....

So these girls, for a meal, I say give'm a 20, turn them loose, and whatever they garner they can prepare for themselves. Clearly they piss me off.


As I said, I'll write some catch up stuff now. It will be a day of 2 posts.



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encroaching increase of darkness - 2008-11-02

Bones - 2008-09-20

random bitchings and musings - 2008-07-09

Man with Huge Cock - 2008-07-04

Eric and other crazy shit - 2008-06-29


Thinkin' 'bout: my ever growing 'to do' list

Dog(s) keeping me company: Tarq

Current read: The Book of the Dead by Patricia Cornwell