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Cher. Wow. Where are those wigs and outrageous headgear now? A museum? Sold to high bidding drag queens?
Yesterday was such a washout. Little accomplished. The evening was a real hand-wringer. Rather than consult my magic 8-ball about that little message of support I'd sent jwb I caught Becky on AIM and we had a good talk. A few things, more than just that was really getting me down. She gave me good perspective on all of it. Negative people can do such a number on me, positive people have little influence. She does. So I yanked that note and sat to do the writing cure thing. That only threw me back into the mire. I didn't make an entry of what I wrote. I left it for morning and just deleted it.
I went to bed around 9, read a little, then had a very strange night. I dreamt of my mentor who died this summer from pancreatic cancer right after jwb pulled his stunt. Another dream was of another friend who shot himself to death a few week after. In the dream I was the one to find his body, brains splattered on the wall. I also had a sex dream about balling a woman. I haven't had one of them in a bit. (such a dream or a woman for that matter!) Another sex dream had me on the top of a bunk bed trying to sleep while a girl I assumed was my roommate was in the bottom bunk making out with some guy. It turned me on and I masturbated (in the dream) at the sound of them and the creaking of the bed. At one point I woke up to find myself wearing stretchy and grudge fucking jwb. Another dream had me trying to make a presentation to a bunch of people who wouldn't stop talking to each other or criticizing me about what they weren't listening to me to criticize me over. I woke up calling them "sanctimonious pricks". When I woke up this morning (for the last time) stretchy was still on so I humped jwb again.
040404. Cool date! Losing an hour sucks!
Lots to do today, especially since yesterday was so unproductive. Too bad yesterday's high was 70, today's only 60. When you're outside doing manual labor in the sun you can warm up fast, whatever the temp.
Lots to think about too. In particular I want to find awareness of the things that bring me down and consider either what to do about them or accept and learn to live with them. Some suffering just is part of life. Tuck and roll. Most suffering is non-acceptance and desire, either frustration at wanting to get something or at wanting to get rid of something. I can't think of much I want to get, but a raft of things I'd like to lose. It becomes a tail-chaser if you consider a desire to lose desire. And round and round she goes! Oh well. It begins with awareness, so today I'll keep busy and watch me and report back on what I see.
How did I wander off on that topic?
In the meantime, there are a couple images that have been wafting through my mind. So howsa bout some gratuitous porn? I didn't think you'd mind!
How much do you think a lamp like that would cost?
No shrinkage apparent... they must be seriously all about it!
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Have any comments you'd like to share?
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encroaching increase of darkness - 2008-11-02
Bones - 2008-09-20
random bitchings and musings - 2008-07-09
Man with Huge Cock - 2008-07-04
Eric and other crazy shit - 2008-06-29
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Thinkin' 'bout: Mike's Hard Lime
Dog(s) keeping me company: planting the garden
Current read: 62