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last night after i wrote that last entry, as i was making my way to bed through a dark house i accidently kicked Tarquin who was lying in the hall. we were both so startled we started scrambling to get out of each other�s way but kept running into each other i wound up kicking him again and stepping on him and he tried to bite me! YIKES! he�s NEVER done that! the whole incident took place in under a second. he must have been snoozing so deeply and i kicked him so hard and in just the right place that he freaked and got all fight or flight. that hall is camera-box dark. usually his white bits shine out, but not there. when he realized what who i was and what happened he fell into a terrble well of unconsolable shame. he�s still head down, tail tuck, hanging at my feet and won�t look at me. i can�t help not feel bad about what happened. like guy like dog i suppose.
after submitting the entry and before that bizarre incident i noticed that one of my readers had updated, so i went to have a look see. after i read it i noticed something pretty simple. (it�s the simple things that beguile me. if you want to hide something from me, put it in plain view. i�m kind of short bus like that.) well, the thing is that update notification doesn�t mean there�s only one new entry, namely the most recent. sometimes there are others before it that you haven�t read, and if you don�t check, you won�t know! DUH! if it weren�t for the �last 5 entries� feature, i�d have missed it. i should probably add that code to my template. at any rate, the diarist in question had written as an entry a poem for me. and what a poem! holy mother of shite! (i�m being purposefully vague about the person. i don�t have permission to link it or i would.) it blew me away! no one�s ever done anything quite like that for me before. after reading it a few times and touching myself in an impure manner as i did � the poem is, well, the imperative phrase �fuck me� is in the first line -- i boggled my way to bed through a dark house...
this morning i lay in bed with JWB so heavy on my mind in a painful, emotional way that there was no wood. i so dread crossing paths with him next time, and with 3 months to run the risk, there will have to be a next time. one thing that my logical mind is having some progress in is convincing my human heart that it�s Ryan that i love, not JWB. JWB is a scary irrational asshole. i don�t want anything to do with him. he�s so full of hate and anger that the only thing he can do is hurt me. (and others). steer clear!!! let him train his hatefulness on someone else. that tornado has already wrought enough destruction here. let it move on and leave me to clean up. i have a fine enough house, i didn�t need that addition anyway.
well, i�m sitting here in my underwear (at home thank you!) and should be at work in 1.5 minutes. think i�ll make it?
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encroaching increase of darkness - 2008-11-02
Bones - 2008-09-20
random bitchings and musings - 2008-07-09
Man with Huge Cock - 2008-07-04
Eric and other crazy shit - 2008-06-29
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