feeling puny

2004-04-01

4:58 p.m.

feeling puny

so i went to work and almost immediately saw jwb scurrying to get out of my path. then i wound up passing him and we seem to have found a way to show mutual awareness without catching eyes. maybe it's just because i stopped looking at his eyes. we passed two more times with utter faux-ignoring. he scurried each time. this shit blows. 65 days... 65 days.

so i went through my day listless.

as soon as i could, i split and went for a haircut at that joint next to tanning. i had to wait nearly half an hour before i was collected by an obsese african-american woman with a butterfly mcqueen voice. (the sad thing is that she was young. mid- late-20s?) she was very nice and solicitous. gentle too. she had no idea what i asked for and gave me a really unflattering haircut. it accentuates my receding hairline (which still isn't as receded as that of jwb even back when he was 19!)

i wasn't thrilled when i left, but she was such a sweetie i tipped her way more than i ought (but that's my nature). we had a little convo at my prompting.

[background: gray hairs started appearing on my head (and chest! yikes!) in my early 20s. after this summer, that is to say after the break up, my gray exploded. i also broke out with psoriasis, the nightmares started, my waistline went from 32 to 36 (got it back to 34 at least), i've lost interest in everything, and if you can believe it, my libido is decimated.]

i asked this woman if she thought i was too gray for a 41 year old man. she more than concurred and offered to give me a dye job for free. i said i'd think about it. so i'm thinking about it.

by the time i got home my hair was dry and i went to look in the mirror. uh-oh. not because it's bad but because i recognized the haircut. between my hairline accentuation and the way she cut it... put it this way. if i went in and said, "give me a haircut like adolf hitler had" she did a great job! *seth weeps*

i ought to take a picture and post it so you can all laugh and pelt me with rocks and filth. shall i?

you could also see how unfairly gray jwb has left me. i blame him for all the above happening all at once. anyway, you could also give your opinion on this dye job.

then i came home to me and my boys. usually when the LO goes off, that first night i smoke cigars in the house, order a pizza, watch a movie and get drunk. and masturbate. like that's a surprise.

well, today i thought i'd come home, do all kinds of shit like plant the calladiums, re-till and plant the garden, get a start on dealing with the banana problem, give the boys pedicures, answer the 80 emails that are tapping their virtual feet waiting for my worthless ass to say something...

instead i feel sad, alone, cold, achy, and generally like shit.

not helping my mood is listening to ATC. the body count is disgusting. bush is even more disgusting. this (ultimately) anti-choice shit is just that. who was it? gloria steinham? who said that if men could have babies abortion wouldn't be a right, it would be a sacrament.

hmmm. let's see. wave the flag. ignore al quaeda. invade oil. who gives a shit about terrorism? bush with oil money and tight with the bin laden family (but not the rogue thereof), condy-rice, who resigned as ceo of CHEVRON to be where she is; cheney, who resigned ceo of Halliburton (you know, the company that was suddenly without contest given a multi-billion dollar government contract for iraq) to become VP. he's also the one that had a week of energy policy meetings with Enron (you know, the hundreds of millions of dollars to the bush campaign and gave him a leer jet to fly around during his campaign). and we won't talk about that budget surplus clinton left behind.

and what's up with this zip code bullshit? that's geographical, not personal. if you're that wrapped up in your beverly hills zip, and move, get over yourself.

now i'm cranky.

time for a naughty pic and another martini.

skinny guys...