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I write, my fingers tap away on the keyboard, my mind moving quickly, always busy. I know it is waiting but...it cannot find me now...I am turned away. My shield is up.
But I know its patience. It will out wait me, out last me. When I have grown heavy and tired of fighting, it will come and it will come hard, like a bolt of lightning...as if I had been struck, being thrown several feet away. I am down and in its web and I cannot pull free. I twist and turn and cry out in pain and still, it has me.
Then it gently lies to me as if it were a demon from Hell. It tells me I am worthless and hated. It tells me to end this pain and take the very life God gave me...and I feel God has been struck down from the heavens because I don't feel His presence.
This deep black hole has no stairs on which to climb...alone in the darkness, alone in pain, crying out to the universe that has no ears.
This black thing is my constant companion. It has walked with me for many years. When I am free from it, I know it is still there, waiting patiently, so very still."
-Patty Johnson
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Have any comments you'd like to share?
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encroaching increase of darkness - 2008-11-02
Bones - 2008-09-20
random bitchings and musings - 2008-07-09
Man with Huge Cock - 2008-07-04
Eric and other crazy shit - 2008-06-29
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