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I've spent the entire day going between dwelling on all the work I have to do and my guy's cock. Or just my guy. There are so many things I wanted to get to share here today, like our first time unzipped, or our first time nekkid, or his first penetration, me of him or him of me. Or how with him I'd had the best sex ever, and how the not so best, and how none of it was really 'having sex' at all.
I think about him, and his cock. Our intimate moments were our expression of ultimate union. I remember so many things and how I miss them. I remember the shit-eatin' grin he used to give me, and the certain little gestures he used to make. And his word choices and phrases. And his scent. And the shifts of texture from hairy to smooth and back again. I can hear his voice saying "I love you, Seth" just as he was about to shoot his load deep inside me. And I can still feel his body against mine, inside mine. Our closeness was such a consummation of our love for one another! That sounds so freakin' clich�, but it's true.
I'm feeling a torrent of non-sexual reasons coming on, reasons why he meant the world to me, things that no one else has ever and will never inspire in me.
I miss him. My bed misses him. My mind misses him. My heart misses him. Big huge hole in my life and in my heart that will never heal.
Rather than dwell on that tonight, I think I'll pick a time of closeness between us to savor. There are so many memories to choose from. Maybe just holding him, his arm thrown over me and his head against my chest, and me stroking his hair and very very quietly saying, "I got you, I got you. I love you, R___, I love you, Babe. I love you more than anyone. You're my guy. You're my guy...."
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encroaching increase of darkness - 2008-11-02
Bones - 2008-09-20
random bitchings and musings - 2008-07-09
Man with Huge Cock - 2008-07-04
Eric and other crazy shit - 2008-06-29
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