2004-03-20
11:34 a.m.

another dark sunday

last night was fun i guess. i don't remember much. i probably made an ass of myself. i'd been drinking beers all day, then had a few martinis, then twice as many scotches, then wine with dinner (superb filet mignon! J is the best cook!), and drambuie. i feel really bad for J, though. he had wanted us to watch a production of Cyrano, but the other three of us just kept flapping our jaws and the tape never even came close to the vcr.

he was looking pretty bummed when we left. he'd gone through so much money and effort to entertain us and we were uncooperative to his desires.

my mind has been spinning all morning about things to write about, and how to organize it. the sexuality stuff, i mean. there's so much! it will have to come in installments. and why organize? why not just let it flow. sure, there will be redundancies. there already have been. if i say anything again it must be because it's still on my mind. besides, it's not like any award is at stake.

this afternoon will be a good time to write. after all, it is sunday, and you know what that means. i have a really weird thing going on in my head/heart right now. on the one hand i feel more detached from JWB than ever before, which must have something to do with my epiphany from earlier in the week. did i ever explain that unsentletter stuff? i still haven't written that. i have other people i need to write to first, who fall in the overdueletter category. oh. there was another hand. that hand is that at the moment i'm missing him like crazy.

a dog just walked by the window, so i went to see what the L O was up to. he's outside on the phone weeding a flower bed and i'm glad he is, 'cause i couldn't bear it. ya see, last spring JWB and i weeded that bed together one fine sunday afternoon. i remember it well. we were sitting on the ground, pulling the weeds, talking about religion (i remember the exact topic too), then suddenly he threw some weeds at me. i volleyed back, then he did, and a weed war began, then he leapt over and tackled me. wrassling ensued, rolling in the dirt, tickling, laughing, yelling, not to mention stealing kisses and nips, and humping each others' legs on the fly.

we were so in love.

i miss him.

i miss him so much.

my eyes are welling.

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encroaching increase of darkness - 2008-11-02

Bones - 2008-09-20

random bitchings and musings - 2008-07-09

Man with Huge Cock - 2008-07-04

Eric and other crazy shit - 2008-06-29

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