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So much disparate, crazy shit in this entry. I might not fit it all in. It depends on how big a fit I take about the movie we saw yesterday.
Let's start with Troy. The best review on artistic merits I've read yet is by my St. Louie bud.
For aesthetics, yeah, Miss Pitt is buff for it, but he still can't act. Gotta give him credit for one scene though, and that's with Priam's plea for Hector's body.
As for acting, Peter O'Toole could come out on a stage only to take a dump and not only would I pay just for the privilege to be in the same room with him, I'd trample thousands to get to the stage to get a mote of that turd to enshrine as a holy relic. (Don't ask what I'd do for Derek Jacobi.)
The star of the show as far as the little head is concerned is Eric Bana's left tit. Holy fucking jesus on the right side of the cross!
Close cropped beards are hot to me (you can have zz top), long hair is a turn off. This time I'll make an exception. A great handle to hold onto whether he's dining at the Y or fucking me mercilessly.
Now for erudite schtuff.
What pissed me off more than anything else about the movie -- let me rephrase that, WHAT FUCKING PISSED ME OFF MOST about the movie was that I counted NINE times that Patroclus was referred to as Achilles' cousin.
Uh, NOT!!!!!!!!
He was Achilles LOVER.
Let's join hands and all say "BOYFRIEND"!!!!! Achilles didn't get so pissed off over a 'cousin'!
That's why this concocted confabulation doesn't hang together. Briseis? Aw, hell. Hell no.
Before I rant on, I ought to disclose a secret to both my readers, I know Greek. I have read the Iliad (and other ancient stuff) in Greek. I know the Iliad purdy good. If you see this and want to read it for yourself, here are a couple suggestions. If you want something as close to what Homer actually wrote, go for the Lattimore translation. If you want something actually intelligible -- by that I mean meaningful -- get Lombardo's translation. The others are pussy compromises.
OK. So I know the Iliad. Here you go. It begins with Achilles being pissy and sulking in his tent because he was strong armed by Athena to give up part of what had been given to him as spoils of an unnamed battle. At this point, at the beginning of the Iliad, the war has ALREADY BEEN GOING ON FOR TEN FUCKING YEARS! (BTW, the story of the Iliad takes place over two weeks, not AT the end, but NEAR the end of the war.)
OK. So Briseis is a token, no different from a gold, jewel encrusted goblet. Agamemnon was pissed off because Chryseis, daughter of Chrysis who was priest of Apollo, was taken when the temple of Apollo was defiled. Apollo was pissed off, sent a plague among the Greeks, the only way to stop it was to give Chryseis back, so Agamemnon was in a twist and Athena did her speech to Achilles.
Achilles was irate at this loss of honor and sulked in his tent ... until Patroclus, HIS LOVER, was killed.
"Menin aide Thea..." are the first three words of the Iliad. "Sing to me, Goddess, of the anger..."
The anger was first at the loss of honor, then at the 'murder' of his soul mate.
The Iliad ends with Priam's begging for the body of his son, and Hector's funeral.
If you decide to read the Iliad (go Lombardo!), prepare to be disappointed. What I just wrote is it. The whole thing is a psychological thing. Sure, lots of fighting, but no sex.
Briseis, by the way, is mentioned THREE times in the Iliad, and no place else. When I say mentioned, I mean MENTIONED. (for footnote I give Il. 1.392; 19:60, 296. Period.
There's a great romance in the Iliad, but it's between Achilles and Patroclus. THAT'S his great anger and motivation, not to mention Patroclus' motivation to don Achilles' (new by the way given by Athena) armor.
Briseis is less than furniture. She was a token in Book 1, and doesn't appear again until Book 19 (of 24 books in toto). Even then only as a thing among many taken from Achilles by Agamemnon. Return of such only in effort to bring him out of his tent.
I've gone longer than I meant.
If you expect the Iliad to give you the Horse and such, don't bother. It ain't there. The only place Homer ever makes reference to a horse is in the Odyssey, and even that is a passing comment by Odysseus about some conversation that had taken place within it while they were waiting.
There's a lot of other crazy shit the screenwriter went way off the charts with, by the actual story that is. Menelaus went, but returned to wait for Helen in Sparta to return so he could kill her himself. He VERY didn't die at Troy. Nor did Agamemnon. If you're not familiar with the Oresteia, check it out. (It's three plays by Aeschylus about the return of Agamemnon to Mycaene and the nasty surprises waiting for him there.)
What all happened after the funeral of Hector isn't in Homer. I mean the Horse and shit. And by 'shit' I mean 'shit'.
Apart from the literary boogers, there are a buttload of material culture ones.
Ever seen "Clash of the Titans"? Rank this among them.
My great fear is that the next generation or so will think this is Homer and so why bother reading?
And so we decline.
But damn if Eric's bodaciously fur dusted pecs ain't hot!
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encroaching increase of darkness - 2008-11-02
Bones - 2008-09-20
random bitchings and musings - 2008-07-09
Man with Huge Cock - 2008-07-04
Eric and other crazy shit - 2008-06-29
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Thinkin' 'bout: martini
Dog(s) keeping me company: off to the Greek fest of all things
Current read: 3