2004-05-16
2:29 p.m.

*house inspection 7*

I kept looking at Tony in a kindly way. Why shouldn't I? Eventually, he spoke.

"Do you really want to know?"

"That's why I asked."

"No. Yes. No. Sort of."

My turn to be confused. I just tipped my head in that quizzical dog way again.

He explained. "In high school I had a buddy whose father had a stash of porn tapes. We used to watch them and jerk off together."

"But you sat far apart and never touched each other," I said, hearing myself sound like some fucking Dr. Ruth. (in words, not accent -- whatever happened to her?)

He was looking down again. So be it. If that was the only way he could talk about this, fine.

"Well, yeah, we sat apart, but while he was jerking off lost in the vid, I was fixated on his dick -- I mean him getting off. That was hotter to me than the flick."

"Did he ever catch you looking?"

"Nope. Not that I know."

"Ever jerk off thinking about that?" Now I felt like Hannibal quizzing Clarice about the screaming of the lambs.

"All the time, and I... jerk off a lot. Well, until you I thought about him doing that. Now it's... different."

I reached across the counter, put the flat of my hand against his face, pulled his toward mine and kissed him gently on the lips.

"You've got a whole lot of pent up shit going on there, don't you? Wanna talk about Kathy?"

"Yeah, I do. And no, I don't. Not now anyway."

"That's cool," I said, and stroked his face.

I could see the demon Rebound waving at me, my Savior Complex standing right beside. My old buddy Lust was there too though, and this dude was beyond worthy of lust. Before I could catch them, the words "Wanna go lie down together?" spilled out of my mouth.

He nodded, and off to the bedroom we went.

I lay down and he fell in right alongside me, placing his head on my chest just inside my arm. I pulled him close and stroked his hair. We were quiet. I was getting freaked out that this was so Ryan, but this guy was different somehow. What crossed my mind was 'pretty people have feelings too.' I never would have guessed. Maybe he's the exception to the rule. Then he broke this latest silence, face still burrowed in my chest.

"Seth, do you still like me? I mean, do you like me anyway?"

Oh dear. Another one. Ryan had worked on me for nearly two years before I fell in love with him, and being in love with him is what made me find him so hot. As I'd written before, I didn't love Ryan because he was gorgeous, he was gorgeous because I loved him. Tony was just... well, not gorgeous, but whatever word describes that which is beyond gorgeous. Even 'wet dream' doesn't begin to describe him. His heart is turning out just as gorgeous. Danger, Will Robinson, danger!

But Tony's so hot! Damn! What am I going to do with this godlike critter in my arms? Not only that, he's going to be living next to me until one of us moves!

I would love it so much if I got the chance to be the one held, the one wanted. Every time I've been chased it's wound up like this.

But I, being dumber than a bag of hammers, roll toward him, lodge a leg between his, and propped on my elbow look him straight in the eye, our eyes about 4" apart.

"Ry... uh... Tony, I'm getting nervous about this. I'm in rebound and you're in desperation. Who's gonna hurt whom first?"

"Don't be scared," he said, and kissed me, tenderly this time, and with the leg he had trapped between one of mine he began a long, slow, sensuous grind.

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encroaching increase of darkness - 2008-11-02

Bones - 2008-09-20

random bitchings and musings - 2008-07-09

Man with Huge Cock - 2008-07-04

Eric and other crazy shit - 2008-06-29

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Thinkin' 'bout: martini

Dog(s) keeping me company: wine to be bottled

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