2004-04-01
7:43 p.m.

and the band played on

efforts at bucking up have failed, so this is it for the day.

i checked tv and ordered my pizza -- everything including and especially anchovies. 'the ring', 'bowling for columbine', and 'the band played on' are on at 8. i think i'll watch the last on the list. getting pissed off at reagan's disregard and mourning the losses i have suffered might do me some katharsis. i wish 'longtime companion' were on. that always rips me up. a nice kick to get me crying can be like lancing a boil. ugly image, but so's the feeling.

as a film what's great about 'band' is seeing alan alda playing an asshole. he's a great actor, and this movie proves it.

20 minutes till movie time. the pizza should be here by then.

i'm feeling not free this evening, but alone. even with my boys i'm feeling alone. it must be the talons of depression reaching its claw up and tugging at what's left of my heart.

to be honest, which to you, dear diary i must be, if it weren't for my boys, if it weren't for the LO, if it weren't for my parents, i have about 60 hits of speed and a lovely new bottle of $80 scotch. i could have a very nice night's sleep. very nice.

Seth

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encroaching increase of darkness - 2008-11-02

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random bitchings and musings - 2008-07-09

Man with Huge Cock - 2008-07-04

Eric and other crazy shit - 2008-06-29

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Thinkin' 'bout: nothing

Dog(s) keeping me company: out

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