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Wow. My third entry of the day. After such a hiatus you'd think I was trying to catch up! I guess I sort of am. I'm also horny as twenty hell! (What an odd expression.)
There are a few things I want to write about -- a couple questions for you online journal veterans too.
I'm glad Tanner (BL) has backed off. The last thing I need is to go from a dude who's a sex machine and paranoid about his sexuality to one who's paranoid about having sex and secure in his sexuality. Tanner was ass over teacup in love with me and I ate it up. I needed it. He gave me a fantastic distraction from Ryan. He made me not feel like such a loser. They're both trouble. They both disappeared for a few weeks, and that was good too. Then Ryan re-appeared, now Tanner is returning as well. Ryan has nothing to do with me. We rarely cross paths, and even then it's at a distance. He always looks like Bambi caught in a headlight when we do. I just give him a look of 'whatev'. I still shake inside, though. Tanner is still crushing on me, I can tell, and he doesn't want to be. I can tell that too. I thought I was beginning to fall for him in return, but now I can see it was the attention I was infatuated with, not him. I like him. I like him a lot. He's such a good kisser, and kind of cute. I'd have no problem sucking his nuts dry either. His skittishness and hang ups and erratic behavior keep me holding him at arms' length now, and that's for the best.
If you've noticed, back a bit I stopped referring to Ryan as Jesus-Wejus Boy and went back to calling him by name. It hasn't been a conscious thing. That's a problem. As I've said many times before, Ryan I love, JWB scares the shit out of me and I can't run fast enough. I fear he's slipping back into being Ryan. Back when he had a webpage, if I felt myself slipping, all I needed to do was go visit it and read some of his latest JWB shit. That always gave me the bitch slap that I needed. He yanked his page a few months ago. That sucks. So I got to wondering if he keeps an online journal. It would be just like him to. Many of his (now alienated) friends from last year had and still have blogs over at livejournal. If he does, I'd like to find it. Not only would I have a place to go to get a bitch slap when needed, I'd be able to keep up with him -- not communicate, just know how he's doing. I still care about him. Always will.
Now the question is how to find it if there is one. I have a bunch of keywords to google with, which is a good thing since when I put his name in -- which is apparently pretty common -- with quote marks there are 10,700 results!
Something I learned in the art of googling is the 'site:' command. VERY useful and sometimes necessary, especially when searching through online journals. Does anyone know where I could find a list of all the online journal sites? I only know of a few, but there seem to be tons out there.
FYI, if you didn't know, I found one today called indecentblogging.com. Fun! I think I found it while doing some random googling. That's something else I learned about googling from my 'stats'. It's fun what people enter for searches and wind up at my diary. A bit ago someone found me by searching for 'pizzasex' as one word. I noticed that that person came back today via that link. Anyway, what I learned was to just write a sentence and not sweat thinking of keywords. I think I found that indecentblogging site by writing: I started fingering her in the back seat of my car after school while we were making out. I also learned to my dismay that google only accepts 10 search terms. :-( After cutting out the common words and using some well-placed quotes, I found some interesting stuff. It got WAY more interesting when I prefaced it with something like site:livejournal.com . A whole lot of sexy stuff turned up when I did that!
Here's something I noticed about myself today while slumming around in people's diaries. I wonder if your experience is like mine. It's hard to explain. What turns me on most is incidental, real stuff and context is a big part of it. How 'bout an example? A pic of a good looking guy with a sweet basket is hotter to me when appearing in, say, Time magazine than the same pic would be if appearing in a porn mag. Does that make sense? Similarly -- if you can see the similarity -- what turns me on most in reading journals are glancing references or casual, oblique descriptions of real sexual encounters, descriptions that aren't 'the point' of the entry, just details given almost as asides. That google search sentence I wrote above is a prime example. If that sentence, verbatim, appeared in an entry, and that was just about all that was written about it, that would be wank fodder enough for me.
The stories I find, the stories I write, aren't so interesting to me. They're fiction, or in my case, usually only partially fiction. I write about my experiences. Sometimes fantasies, but on the whole I write about stuff that happened.
Damn this entry got long! I'll post it now.
Here's a random pic for your enjoyment:
Now please. Be honest. If you had this cute young thang chasing you, how long would you last before you caved?
Just a question...
~Seth~
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Have any comments you'd like to share?
[So far 0 smart ass remarks have been made.]
encroaching increase of darkness - 2008-11-02
Bones - 2008-09-20
random bitchings and musings - 2008-07-09
Man with Huge Cock - 2008-07-04
Eric and other crazy shit - 2008-06-29
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