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my father who doesn't use email and has little to no sense of humor sent me this? WOW!!!
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DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........
After Mr. And Mrs. Long retired, Mrs. Long insisted her husband
accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Long was like most men--he found shopping boring
and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, Mrs. Long was
like most women--she loved to Browse.
One day Mrs. Long received the following letter from her local
Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Long,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced
t o ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Long are
listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5
minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
Voice, "Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's
on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from
the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as
a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna Look"
by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least,
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Regards,
Wal-Mart
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Have any comments you'd like to share?
[So far 1 smart ass remarks have been made.]
encroaching increase of darkness - 2008-11-02
Bones - 2008-09-20
random bitchings and musings - 2008-07-09
Man with Huge Cock - 2008-07-04
Eric and other crazy shit - 2008-06-29
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Thinkin' 'bout: Eric
Dog(s) keeping me company: Tarq
Current read: Book of the Dead