2004-03-29
3:53 p.m.

the torch that wouldn't die

ugh. what a day.

you know how when your sleep patterns get fucked up everything else seems to follow?

my sleep patterns got fucked up and everything is following.

i barely made it through what i had to do, and was leaving, when there he was, standing, almost as if waiting for me. i caught his eye then kept going. he looked forlorn, missing me, wanting to speak but wanting me to speak first. i did feel a little bad for not acquiescing, but i felt better for not having done so.

i also felt knocked off my recently nearly gained center in that i wanted to kiss him. real bad. today he looked tasty to me, then again all i looked at were his eyes (and unflattering haircut. he has an amazingly large widow's peak for someone nearly 23. a buzz cut is not his best option.)

so i'm thrown back into a bit of a muddle again.

68 more days and he will have cleared the zone. not that i'm counting. seeing him re-breaks my heart, though each time a little less.

it makes you not want to care about or trust anyone ever again. certainly not if it leads to this.


i neglected to mention this morning that getting to meet my new d-land bud for cocktails in a couple weeks makes me even more anxious to go. ryan's ghost will haunt me the whole time i'm sure, which stinks, but where i had nothing but that to look forward to, now i have two positive things to go for me. yeah!

one more thing. Crys left me a note regarding the picture i posted last entry (the first one). i must confess, on first seeing this pic my eyes kept going from his edible ass to that gorgeous carpet he's stretched out on, and back again. i can only hope that he brings it for our assignation then leaves it as a parting gift! what a great souvenir!

now i'm tired, bummed a bit over JWB, and have oodles of things to do but again find myself too tired and bummed to do any of it. i know getting off my ever broadening ass is the answer, but somehow i remain unmotivated.

hey! i know what would be even more counterproductive! a martini!

just in time for All Things Considered.

Seth, the stupid, sentimental schmuck.

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encroaching increase of darkness - 2008-11-02

Bones - 2008-09-20

random bitchings and musings - 2008-07-09

Man with Huge Cock - 2008-07-04

Eric and other crazy shit - 2008-06-29

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