2007-04-30
6:55 p.m.

VT

I haven't posted anything in the past couple whatwhats apart from one of those survey thingys, which, while helpful in jogging memory and awareness (if taken seriously), are rather juvenile, and nifty reminders of shit I forgot I'd had, which lifted my spirits and thought I'd share... but awareness recently didn't need to be forced. It WAS forced.

A couple weeks ago was the massacre at VT. It upset me terribly, and I mean terribly. That it happened at all upset me. That anyone (i.e. Cho) could have been so tortured as to do such a thing upset me. That his family appears so shamed now upset me. That so many buttheaded conservative types now have a hatred of ALL Koreans. That I'm a teacher at a school with a conservative body, many no doubt armed to the teeth, and that it could happen here upset me. Upset me to the point of my having nightmares, not to mention whatever the proper word is for daymares. I want to lock the door (which I can) during classes, even though there's a big ass window beside each door which makes the gesture useless, but I do it discretely, so they (my students) don't see, then at class end I open the door and just as discreetly unlock it.

I got to thinking about what such a scene would be like. What would I do? My visceral reaction would be to do whatever I could to protect my students. I don't know what they'd think I'd do, but damn if they ain't my pups to me and NO ONE fucks with my pups! Of course they get scruff shakes from me as needed, but to me that's alpha's prerogative. My hackles rise when even colleagues mess with them! So all that has been and continues to be on my mind.

I'm doing what I can to show support and solidarity with the faculty and students at VT. I feel as useful as tits on a nun for them. I can only do what I can remotely do. For one example, I bought a butttload of those whatever they're called snappy bracelet things which I intend to dump on a random table anonymously in the student union or someplace with a sign saying free to take to show support and mindfulness. I haven't written it yet or gotten them, but they're en route. I'll come up with something pithy for the note.

In the midst of all that there's been dramatic else for me, but this remains hugely on my mind and this entry is long enough.

Sometimes shit gets snapped into perspective. What matters? It shouldn't take such a sledge hammer upside the head to figure that out.

I have tests to grade now, and my new fig, and pawpaws, and nanners, and cannas, and elephant ears, and tuberose, and orange, and way wildly mix of shit just seeded in the half barrel on the porch, and the LO's freshly planted rosemary, and basil, and tomatoes, and who knows what else need to be watered.

I got a haircut today. Ditzy blonde did it. It's ok, though I couldn't wait to get out of there. Unfortunately my (Miss) Chris wasn't on duty, so Miss 'like' Ashley had to do. It's another story I could expand on, but not today.

I'm back to paperwork now. Blech.

I hurt. I'm scared. Domestic terrorism.

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encroaching increase of darkness - 2008-11-02

Bones - 2008-09-20

random bitchings and musings - 2008-07-09

Man with Huge Cock - 2008-07-04

Eric and other crazy shit - 2008-06-29

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Thinkin' 'bout: VT

Dog(s) keeping me company: T

Current read: The Ghost Map