2004-04-22
6:35 p.m.

the quandry

ONE person took the time to think about my quandry and share what s/he thought about what the hell is up with him. It helped me see some things I hadn't before and made me feel better. I'm nearly finished responding. The reading and the writing have helped a lot. I considered posting the whole thing as an entry, but why bother?

At this very moment however, I'm soooooo close to dropping him a note just to say that ignoring him isn't easy for me. (Stay my hand!) I had to do it (ignore him) A LOT today and it ripped me up every time. I can't wait for him to leave my sight. That's the only thing he can leave.

If any reader is bored with the thread, s/he can't be more bored than I. I really, truly don't understand why I hurt so fucking bad over it. Am I obsessed with him? He is with me. When two people are obsessed with each other, what's the difference between that and being in love?

I had hoped to write about my toy box tonight. Maybe I will try to anyway.

There are many other things I want to write about as well. Some sexy, others not so much, but things long in coming for explication.

I'll make me a martini now and feel guilty for ignoring the 100+ pieces of paper I've yet to process and should have about a week ago.

What a small brown pile on the side of the road Seth is.

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encroaching increase of darkness - 2008-11-02

Bones - 2008-09-20

random bitchings and musings - 2008-07-09

Man with Huge Cock - 2008-07-04

Eric and other crazy shit - 2008-06-29

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Thinkin' 'bout: nothing

Dog(s) keeping me company: temptation

Current read: 44