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Sitting outside in my pergola again. I love spring! I'm an outdoors guy. I feel imprisoned when stuck in a house/building. A couple houses down there's a HUGE oak tree, which is in bloom. The poor LO has allergies, so he doesn't sit out with me so much. I hate that.
I think no muscle in my body was spared today. I spent the day at the vineyard. A WHOLE lot of heavy physical labor. So I'm sore and exhausted already. All my work outside yesterday with the nanners probably has something to do with it.
My mood today has been partly cloudy I guess you could say. I really look forward to the day that JWB doesn't flit across my mind, not even once. When he's cleared the zone, it will get easier. But there are so many things I associate with him that I have no idea when that wish will be fulfilled. He's in my shower, he's on my couch, he's in my office, he's in my pergola. I can't light a cig, open a beer, sit at my workbench, drive my truck without seeing him. Who knows what on his end is so 'spoiled' with my memory.
Real hard for me has been to go to the vineyard. He always went with me. We used to goof around, hide and seek, hose squirting, stalking and tackling and wrassling till one was on his back, the other sitting on top, pinning, forcing the other to say the 'password'. Then quick kisses interrupting the soft, loving eye-lock and gentle smiles. The vineyard work always got done, but the occasional punctuation rocked my world everytime. His too.
That's the stuff I miss most. The love making was out of this world, but when I was at the deafening table saw and he was toting lumber, looking at me, mouthing "I love you"... how can you not cave at that?
So today it was hard to go to the vineyard and work alone. But I had my iPod! Yeah! I listened to all kinds of stuff, but settled on Melissa Etheridge. Annie Lennox too. Cathartic.
I still have stories to write. I'm so pooped right now I can't muster. :-(
Oh. My day started with a sex session. It was good, but would take more energy to describe than I have at the moment. To streamline, my humping the LO spoon-wise, stretchy on, reach around, but my mind on how I was doing what JWB used to love to do to me. I couldn't shake the memory away, so I rode with it. One of these days...
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encroaching increase of darkness - 2008-11-02
Bones - 2008-09-20
random bitchings and musings - 2008-07-09
Man with Huge Cock - 2008-07-04
Eric and other crazy shit - 2008-06-29
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Thinkin' 'bout: martini
Dog(s) keeping me company: wanna go to bed
Current read: 56